Saturday, September 26, 2009

:All thats in my heart

hmm.. wondering if i shud say everything thats kept deep inside me or not..
later u all kutuk me sia.. haha..kutuk or ejek oso i donno... ahh..cannot cannot..
firdaus shall keep quiet (spelling correct or not?)


k..so its time for my jumbled up unsettled mind to speak!..XD


k..
if u bother..u can try to rearrange the pointsXD
k


hmm..
i'm freaking stressed up with studies
but studies is not my first priority
i donno what to do now
i'm facing a lot of problems
but i donno what to do
a solution would be just to stone there and do nothing. ( like my sisters - mur and sara) sometimes do..
but until when will i stone
until when will i not budge.
i need to do something
but what?
problems..problemss. problemss.
one of them is my mouth..
lies after lies flow out of it.
first to the two person i love the most...
my parents..
sigh..
i don wanna hurt them..
are lies the solution?
I feel bad..i really do..
they fed me.. they jaga me..but what do i repay them with.. lies?
hmm..
problems...problems..problems..
its hard being in a school with all boys..
k this is beyond my understanding..
its jus is a problem...
I miss primary school
i miss playing soccer each and every day after school
i miss.. block biase where we all hisap rokok..
i miss.. kacauing people in my primary school
i miss all the fights we had in primary school
i miss all the vulgarities...jokes..we had in primary school.
i miss prank calling people..
i miss lepaking..


problems..problems..problems..
i noe i can rewind back time to primary school
so i look at what i have during secondary school
i kinda miss sec 1
where i was the outcast..
its easier..though got stress...
at least i will be closer to lesser people...
and will not be a problem...i donno..
its jus that widening my contacts jus creates more problems..
one is that..i wont be able to be a good friend to all of them..
example: nurul from cg...not been talking to her for a freaking long time..
not even alyssa...
all of these..its jus due to me widening my contacts...
whats done is done...
I miss sec 2.. it was the year i was pretty close to you..
i miss those moments we spent in the libraries..
i miss staring at ur eyes. ( k too mushy).
if u r reading.. hmm.. this has nothing to do with me liking or not liking u
i jus miss spending time.. and empty conversations with you. XD
Now..i miss kak ira's..lepaking mood.. haha..all the slenge stuff we talk about... haha
black mamba !!!!...
hahaha..
but i thank god..
i got good friends..
though they are not perfect...they are good.. XD


hmm..what other problems..
ouhya..studies..forgot bout it.. hmm..lemme see
yeah i cant study..donno why.. sigh..


hmm..k lets talk bout today.. hmm
so today morning..woke up.. straight away call hakiim.. at 6:15
Firdaus - Hakiim, jumpe 6:40 or 6:45 kat lhatib
Hakiim - Okay,
Firdaus - kau baru bangun eh?
Hakiim - a'ah
Firdaus - Aku pun.


End convo.


So we played soccer for 6 hours..
from 8 AM to 2 PM...
freaking tired
but alhamdullillah... we got into the finals...
k if u wanna noe more bout the matches..ask me
anyway..we won 3 games and drawed 2 so far XD

Labels: Hakiim, mind, murnira, parents, problems, sara, school, soccer

posted at 9:07 PM